Where to now!?

It has been a very, very long time since I did any entries to this journal, but my life has not been eventless, just not interested it this journal for some reason. I have many dreams that are full of stories to tell me and many more that are starting to worry me. All seem to be about past lives. They feel so real. As if my spirit left my body to return to another life. Again I have not written down any of them. Why?? I do not know. Fear or just disgusted with my dreams.

Looking back at the ones that I did write does offer some insight to what my soul is trying to tell me. I feel that I am fearful of something and that this something is holding me back. Holding me back from what & why?? I always seem to be struggling with something. I now feel that the struggle is within myself and with myself. I do not know why I feel this way, but I do. Maybe because it is I who has the problem & it is I who is holding back. And it is I who has the solution.

Or is that the problem. Over analyzing matters and feeling that only I can do something about it. Again it seems to be an issue of control. Feeling that I am everything & opening up to others & asking for their help is out of the question.